I knew that giving Sarah up for adoption/getting knocked up in the first place would be a life-changing event...so I don't know why I'm surprised to still be feeling this way so often.
A fellow English major at Lipscomb is pregnant. I think we were in the same graduating class. Our circumstances are fairly similar -- both from a religious background, both went to Lipscomb, both broke up with our respective boyfriends after finding out that we were pregnant. But she decided to keep her daughter, and apparently she just had a baby shower because she's just been tagged in a bunch of pictures on Facebook.
And ... do you know how sad those pictures make me? How they make me want to cry?
I ... I'm a little afraid of being emotional, I think. This whole thing with Sarah has put me in touch with emotions and taught me a bit of how to deal with them, but feeling all this still seems unnatural.
Which is bullshit, because it's completely natural for a mother to grieve losing her daughter. (A decision I don't regret for a second...but a decision that I wish to God I had never had to make.)
*sigh*
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Oh, Erin, I love you so much. Do you wonder why you're one of my heroes?
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