good morning?

I feel like crap. But it's all in my head -- physically, I feel a little fat, but otherwise just fine. There are so many things running in circles in my head, leaving me kind of anxious and bothered.

For one, there's Sarah. She was born one month from today. Brittany just had her baby a couple of days ago. I watched Juno for the first time on Saturday. I emailed Philip and Janet two or three days ago and haven't heard back from them yet. ...The movie was good, by the way. I watched it by myself (Matt had to go to his brother's faux bachelor party), and the only way you'd understand how I cried is if you had been there. I mean, thinking about the end of the movie yesterday as I was wiping down tables at work almost had me in tears again. Seventy percent of the young women in Belle Meade seem to always be pregnant, and I want to tell them how lucky they are...to be able to love and care for and raise their children. (Of course, I don't think those Belle Meade people should be reproducing with the zeal that they do, but that's not my point at all.)

It's so, so terrible. I don't like going through all of this again. It it because of the weather? Is it because of Brittany? Is it because she's my daughter and I'll never get over her?

Maybe I'll try to visit again. I wish I had a car that I could trust to drive up there.

I'm noticing myself getting mad at customers lately. I mean, that's not any good. I want to be compassionate and patient with them -- not angry! I can't figure out what's changed, either. Except the weather. Oh God, I hate summer.